inside the mind of the mom next door

You know what they say about opinions… Everybody has one.  There is no one right way to feed a baby, burp a baby, wash a baby, etc.  While all the nurses were very helpful, sometimes it gets confusing when each shift of nurses have different ways of doing things.

I dropped Hope off at the nursery every night.  The first night baby nurse brought Hope to our hospital room at pre-scheduled times – 2am & 5am.  With other nurses coming by to give Wendy pain meds and others to check her vitals, we didn’t get any sleep that night.  The 2nd night I dropped Hope off, the nurse said, “I’ll bring her to you when she’s hungry.”  I guess Hope got hungry around 4:00, because that’s the first time they brought her back.  The 3rd night was back to scheduled times.  The 3rd night was awful, because Hope was in a deep sleep when they brought her to us, and Wendy tried feeding her while she was half asleep.  It didn’t go well, and it was not the best mood to set for us to go home the next day.

We made sure we got a breast feeding lesson from the nurse before we left to go home.  It was the 3rd nurse to advise breast feeding, and it was the third different breast feeding philosophy we heard.  One nurse preferred the football hold, the other nurse preferred the cradle hold.  One nurse said never let the baby fall asleep on your breast.  Another nurse said it’s ok for the baby to fall asleep.  One nurse poked, tickled, and wiped Hope with a cold wet cloth to get her to eat.  As soon as one nurse told us not to allow Hope to use a pacifier, another nurse said soothing Hope with a pacifier is necessary.  We heard differing opinions about everything.  We just had to go home and figure out what worked for us – Wendy and Hope.  Our first night at home at 8pm, we figured it out.  We just continue to improve with experience.

All of that “nesting” I did for the last few months… It was not a total waste of time, but it was not very functional once the baby was here.  I had put everything nicely in place but mostly in the wrong place.  The diaper stacker is hanging just out of reach of the changing table.  We also had some problems with the placement of bottles, wash cloths, towels, body wash, sheet savers, etc. I spent the first 2 days running all over this house finding clothes that fit, bottles, breast pump accessories, pacifiers, and batteries.  It takes a while to get in the habit of having all of your supplies before you start something.  I almost always start burping without a burp cloth or start giving a bath without a towel.

Please don’t read this and think I am annoyed or bothered.  I’m not.  I love taking care of this baby!!!  I’m just explaining that there is a learning curve of how to nurture a baby in your own home.  Every person we talk to has a different way to do it. Also in saying these things, I have to thank all of our friends and family for their help, support, advice, and even their opinions.  It is helpful to have many different options and experiences, and we pick the ones that work best for us.

On a personal note, I have so much to learn.  I am happy to be able to immerse myself in this experience without having to worry about work or recruiting.  My life is full of learning new things right now, and I am loving it!

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Comments on: "Differing Opinions" (7)

  1. Kathy Dozier said:

    enjoy the ride… your life will be so full.

  2. Those feet are so stinkin cute!!

    I’m glad to know multiple opinions drive other people crazy, too! How frustrating!! But good for you guys to learn so early that you just have to do what works best for you and Hope. You would think by now (meaning, millions of years) this feeding thing would be down to a science 😉

  3. Michelle said:

    From all of these different techniques and from stories I know of people trying to breastfeed and it not working…I’m glad I had NO desire to breastfeed. They say if you do that the weight comes off quicker and it is easier for gestational diabetes patients, so good luck and good for Wendy that she wanted to try!

  4. Stephanie said:

    Lisa tried breast feeding Amelia at first but it really hurt her and even though I was torn by Amelia’s desire to breastfeed (she loved it) and Lisa’s needs too, we ended up giving up on the breast feeding. It is hard to know what to do sometimes but you guys are right in that you just figure it out and adjust as you go. It sounds like you’re doing a great job. At this point with Amelia we had little sleep until we finally got into a routine and then there was a little more sleep 😉

    • We are looking forward to the little more sleep part. However, I can’t complain. We have great help from my parents, and every now and then, Hope cooperates and gives us 4 or 5 consecutive hours of sleep at night.

  5. I found your blog via Mombian and am enjoying your posts. Your baby is simply adorable! I am partial to feet and hand pics, as they change so fast.

    My wife and I have both given birth; I just had our third. One thing I know for sure is that if the baby is growing, everyone who is nursing is fairly physically comfortable, and you both are getting enough sleep to function (how much is needed and what constitutes ‘functioning’ are two of our favorite discussions) then you are doing it “right”. We had the same kind of crazymaking lactation advice that changed with the nursing shifts. It was a huge relief to get home and hook up with a La Leche League person. We visited with her a few times with each new baby because in a cruel twist of fate the challenges change with each baby. Our last baby was born with 2 teeth and a tongue tie, which might have made my brain explode had it been the first.

    • Nora, Thanks for your comment and for following. Thank you for affirming there’s not much “right or wrong” in this. Hope is growing – check. Wendy and I are surviving – check. There’s not much method to the madness, but we’re all doing what we have to do.

      Born with 2 teeth?!?! Yes, I think I would have passed out.

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