A few years ago, during a team bonding activity, I took a personality test called True Colors. It changed my life. It made me so much more aware of myself, how others perceive me, and I why I perceive others the way I do. Why did I not know this stuff about myself until I was 40 years old? Well, that was explained in the personality test also.
There is part of my personality that struggles with the concept of raising a newborn. I think I know everything. In the True Colors Personality Test Session, I was told that green personalities think they are right 98% of the time. I thought that was inaccurate. Actually, I am right 99% of the time.
With Hope, I am always trying to find patterns. I am always trying to make the day (or night) predictable. I am always trying to determine the cause and effect. Why did she spit up? What caused her to sleep for 5 hours? Why is she hungry when she just ate an hour ago? I am always trying to be right.
I’m not making myself crazy over it. I have to accept the fact that I’m not always going to know why something happened the way it did. Life with Hope is unpredictable right now, and I’m embracing the fact that I don’t always know what I’m doing.
Hope’s tongue was attached to the bottom of her mouth pretty far up toward the front of her mouth. She couldn’t stick her tongue out past her lips, and I’m not sure if her tongue would reach the roof of her mouth. She was eating well enough to grow and gain weight. She weighs 10 lbs, 8 oz. now. Being tongue tied can affect latching, sucking, swallowing, speech, etc. To me, it looked like just as much milk ran out the sides of her mouth as she swallowed. And I hate to waste food.
Wendy was ready to have Hope’s tongue clipped when Hope was 2 days old. Many people in the hospital gave us that option, except for our pediatrician. We were given different milestones to help us decide if/when to have her tongue clipped. 1. Latching. She could latch to a breast, pacifier, and bottle. 2. Swallowing. She could swallow. 3. Spoon feeding. 4. Speech. We decided not to wait until 3 and 4. The procedure is much easier while she is an infant, because she can be swaddled and held. For a toddler to have the same procedure, she would have to be sedated.
The ear, nose, and throat specialist told us how she would be prepped, how much he would cut, how she would react, and what we should do immediately after. She screamed. They brought her back to us. Wendy gave her a bottle. There was a little blood on the burp cloth when she wiped Hope’s mouth. Then, she fell asleep. That was it. She hasn’t bled since. Wendy and I have a huge sense of relief, and we don’t worry about “what if” anymore.
Finally, I just want to take a moment to thank our family and friends who keep making this as easy as possible on us. To those who have babysat, let us borrow baby items, donated baby items, cooked us dinner, bought us lunch, or given us a gift, we are blessed to have you in our lives. We are also lucky to have so many well-wishers. This experience would not be the same without all of you. I doubt that we can, but I hope that we thank everyone appropriately. I will not take love, support, and generosity for granted anymore.