inside the mind of the mom next door

after a bath

Hope is 15 weeks old today, and it is my first full day of being the stay at home mom.  Wendy has school and soccer, so she works 11 hour days – 7am-6pm.  I would be more familiar with how to start a college soccer team from scratch or how to prepare a team to play against an opponent who is ranked in the Top 10.  I have experience doing those things.  I have never kept a 3 month old for 11 hours by myself.

I actually don’t know how old babies are when they start achieving certain milestones, because I didn’t read any of the books Wendy asked me to read.  I read one book about swaddling and shushing – Happiest Baby on the Block – but I never could fold the swaddle correctly.  Sometimes I even struggled with the swaddles that are already folded for you with velcro.  I get e-mail updates from diaper companies and other baby product companies that are helpful, and I google when I need information.

After a break from rolling over, there is no stopping Hope now.  She does not play very long on her back before she rolls over to her tummy.  The tummy time has been very good for her neck.  According to my google research, most babies turn over from their tummy to their back around this age, but most turn back to tummy 2 months later.  When Hope is lying on her tummy crying, I sit down and try to teach her how to turn back over.  She doesn’t want to roll over.  She wants to crawl.

I would call it the military crawl since she is on her forearms and elbows and her legs are being dragged behind her.  She grunts and strains and drools and cries to move about 3/8 of an inch.  She gets the edge of her play mat under her arms and pulls the mat under her body, so her head is on the carpet.  The mat moves more than her body actually does.  Hope is trying to crawl.  I just want her to turn back over.  It would make my life so much easier.

Hope is making this easy.  We’ve almost got a schedule and a routine.  She’s not a very fussy baby.  She’s easy to entertain.  Sometimes feeding Hope requires a lot of work.  She is a peculiar eater and has her moments.  Hope usually does a good job when I need to get out and run some errands, especially for someone who can’t sit up.  Every now and then, one of us does something that makes me laugh so hard, it makes me not want to miss one minute of her growing up.  It’s just the first day!

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Comments on: "Three Months Going on 10 Months." (3)

  1. As I read your 1st day , I turned to the Wife and say “THIS IS JUST LIKE I’LL BE!!” I don’t know squat about babies, diapers, rolling over, eating habits, etc. I’ll have the baby in one arm and the laptop in the other. But I do know I want one…I want to experience those “things” that make you laugh. It must be a happiness unlike any other.

    If I may ask a question…and if you prefer to answer via FB, that’s fine. What makes you feel like you’re as much of mom to Hope as Wendy? Maybe that’s a harsh question, but it is a fear I have that if my Wife has a baby I’m not going to have any attachment to him/her other than just SAYING I’m a 2nd mom. I don’t think it can even be compared to a straight couple because the male does have a connection. I suppose a step-parent that has been in the picture since birth might be the only analogy that is similar. How can I expect to feel an attachment to this little person? Maybe it’s as simple as “it is what it is”…and the bond between the Wife and I will suppress my fears once we are preggo.

    • Sorry for the delay in my reply. My short answer is your relationship with your wife, then your relationship with the child will make you feel like a mom. My 9+ year relationship with Wendy makes both of us feel connected to each other’s activities. When one of us does something, both of us share the joy/sorrow. Even though I did not carry or give birth, I still feel like a parent to Hope, much because Wendy and I went through a long process together even before Hope’s arrival. Picking out a donor together, going to the doctor together, leaning on each other when there was bad news, celebrating the happy news, and living that day of Hope’s birth together. Now, we both share in taking care of Hope – feeding, changing, bathing, dressing, etc. I am beginning to experience the deeper connection with Hope, because she is getting alert enough to interact and respond. When that child smiles at you, laughs at you, or seems to know who you are, it is impossible to not feel like a mom. I hope it’s that easy for you.

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